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Thursday, 31 March 2011 15:48

Here comes the Bride

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royal place setting

So Granny has agreed to have the reception at her house, which has saved the problem of finding a suitable venue and no doubt saved Wills and Kate a bit of money too. As we're in·the year of austerity perhaps a delivery from Iceland could be arranged? A thirty-six piece chicken platter followed by·a thirty-six·piece dessert platter would only set them back £10. What's more you can design, print or email your invites from the website and use the party planning tool to work out quantities and menus, so there would be no·need for Lady Elizabeth Anston·to sort things out for them, and a few more quid could be saved.   Beef is likely be on the menu on April 29th·and·hundreds of bottles of vintage wine and port are being earmarked for the big day from the underground vaults of the Treasury at Whitehall.· The Queens Red Poll herd at Sandringham were·under 24 hour guard since the wedding announcement but by now·the beasts will have been dispatched and should be·hanging to mature nicely - ready to be turned into cottage pies,·Wills' favourite food.  Cakes too have changed over the years. I made my own, tradional three tier, royal-iced fruit cake. but Kate is apparently a chocoholic and may go for something more unusual. How about a cookie cake?·Or maybe your relationship started over a playstation?!

the playstation wedding cake

I catered for weddings for most of the 90’s. It's hard work, but usually a lot of fun. Not only did I organise the food and drink but it was not uncommon to carry out other unusual tasks, and of course not everything goes according to plan. Re-gravelling the drive is an old favourite at the country house wedding - impressive - until cars arriving at the reception become firmly embedded, requiring all hands on deck to push them out again. 

One request to have all food served by identical twins, each with a a pair of Dalmatians forming the welcome party, was probably the most bizarre. A modelling agency provided the twins, most of whom had never served food before and stood around looking anorexic and useless. Luckily most of the guests were on diets too so weren’t bothered that the canapés weren't flowing. And I wonder if the Middletons and Wales’s families will end up having a punch up in the car park? 

 I had the misfortune once of being invited to a 'dry' wedding.  There was going to be wine, but guests were expected to buy it from an overpriced bar. I decided to take matters into my own hands and bought a nice big  5 litre wine box and a roll of wedding paper. Wrap the wine box up in the paper, having located and released the tap first. As you arrive at the wedding, gift under your arm, hang on to it - insisting that you need to personally present it - you can now put the box on the table and pour to your hearts content. You'll make lots more friends and can join in the foodie party games too!

love is sharing a banana

it's all too much...

Read 21991 times Last modified on Tuesday, 12 November 2013 15:50

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